Workplace relationships: How to deal with difficult personality types

This article is taken from a webinar (in French) hosted by psychologist Pierrette Desrosiers that addresses the issue of difficult personality types in the workplace and suggests tools for identifying these personality types, understanding their motivations and improving communication. It is part of a series of modules focused on managing the human aspects of the family farm business.

Workplace relationships: How to deal with difficult personality types

In your farm business, you may one day be faced with a difficult person, whether it's a partner, an employee or a family member. When this happens, it's important not to let the person's negative attitude, inflexibility or anxiety affect you, because these behaviours can have an adverse impact on your operation, disrupting safety, finances and team relations. These things can then lead to lower morale, interpersonal conflict and reduced productivity.

If you find that contact with this person makes you hyper-vigilant, irritable or anxious, or if their presence makes you angry or lowers your self-esteem, it's time to take action to maintain the harmony and performance of your business.

Understanding difficult personality types

Psychologist and speaker Pierrette Desrosiers defines a difficult personality type as "a person who often has fixed and intense character traits." These individuals are often "reactive" and display rigid and inappropriate behaviour, creating a stressful work environment through their repeated actions.

There's no point in trying to diagnose these personality types, because even if a diagnosis could explain the behaviour, you're not a substitute for professional treatment. Instead, your role is to manage their behaviour and its impact on the business and yourself. Ms. Desrosiers emphasizes the importance of identifying reasonable and, above all, realistic solutions.

Intervention strategies

Several strategies can be used to deal with these different personality types, understand their motivations and needs, and thus better communicate to prevent and resolve conflict in the workplace.

1. Avoid emotional contagion

Difficult personality types tend to take up a lot of space in their work environment. This leads to what is known as emotional contagion, where an individual's negative emotions spread to others in the work environment. This dynamic can be particularly detrimental to group cohesion and effectiveness. To counteract these harmful effects, be vigilant and maintain a positive attitude, even in the face of recurring negative behaviour. Actively encourage other team members to adopt the same constructive approach. This proactive strategy will help maintain a healthy and productive work environment.

2. Plan your approach

Before dealing with a difficult personality type, be sure to:

• Clarify your role and expectations

• Be aware of your personal goals and pain points

• Set realistic, progressive goals for change

• Mentally prepare for the discussion

Stick to the facts and focus on inappropriate behaviours rather than trying to "cure" or change the person. Use your business's mission and values to guide your actions.

3. Engage in an effective discussion

"Alternate between empathy and facts in your discussion," advises Ms. Desrosiers. Listen to personal difficulties or justifications offered to explain the inappropriate behaviours. However, be on the lookout for attempts at manipulation, especially with complex personality types such as narcissists, who often have multiple faces.

During your meeting:

• Clearly explain the impact of the behaviours on the team and business

• Involve the person in searching for solutions

• Provide a reasonable time frame for the expected changes

• Set clear, precise boundaries

• Keep your expectations moderate

• Focus on the problem behaviour and avoid demoralizing

4. Be patient

All interactions with a difficult personality type can be trying. After the discussion, take time to refocus. Remember that the other person's behaviour is not your own. By developing your resilience and strength and focusing on your personal needs, you may see gradual improvement.

Be patient, as people with a demanding nature rarely change, because their behaviours are deeply ingrained. If you feel the need or recognize an issue with emotional contagion, ask for help and have someone with you when you intervene. By getting support, you won't have to carry this burden alone.

Read More